FBI: Mr. Hesmeth?
Hesmeth: Look I was just on my way out and I don’t have time for this…
FBI: Mr Hesmeth we have evidence you took part in the attack on the Capitol yesterday.
Mr. Hesmeth: That is a lie, I was no where near there. Ping my phone it never left this house! Ask my Pet Fish, I was here all day.
FBI: Mr. Hesmeth we have definitive evidence that you were there.
Mr. Hesmeth: That is ridiculous if I had gone to that I would have worn a mask and clothing so I could never be identified. There is no way you have any proof I was in The speaker’s office.
FBI: We never said anything about the Speaker’s office
Mr. Hesmeth: Well I was, just you know, speaking off the cuff, but most importantly, I never go to Trump rallies without my outfit on which makes me unrecognizable.
FBI: The IronMan with Orange hair on top?
Mr. Hesmeth: I am not saying another word, you can’t prove anything.
FBI: You took the helmet off when you shit in the Speakers Briefcase, we have your DNA
Mr. Hesmeth: No Shit?
FBI: Actually plenty of it, and it glows, You have the right to remain silent….