In the aftermath of the Maga attack on our U.S. Capitol building the defense dept. has announced a major buy to shore up our federal building’s defenses.

After receiving multiple quotes and checking their social media buys The defense department has determined the most effective thing to do would be to install SimpliSafe whole home protection devices.

SimpliSafe has even beefed up their security by adding a new feature where anyone entering has to say the phrase “The election was fair and Trump lost to President Biden”. Failure to say it in a believable fashion will alert authorities that a low information voter is attempting entry.

The alerted authorities will arrive forcing a Covid resistant mask on perpetrator and then give them a mandatory course on what the Constitution is and the role an educated member of society is expected to do.