Today an unidentified NFL owner alleges that a quarterback with a no-trade clause forced the owner to perform oral sex on the player during his trade interview.

The Owner says the contract discussion started normally but then the quarterback pulled out a much smaller than standard contract to cover his genitals, the owner was visibly shaken but then stated “This is highly inappropriate.”, however, the quarterback assured him “It would all be fine.”.

During the continuation of the negotiations, the contract repeatedly fell to the floor exposing the quarterback for what he is. The quarterback then insisted that it would be ok for the owner to touch his penis, the owner again felt he was being placed in an awkward position, but he was afraid if he did not comply he would be embarrassed by other owners possibly hurting his reputation and ruining his future NFL deals. The quarterback then told the owner “This contract ain’t gonna suck itself.” The owner against all of his common sense realized the power the quarterback had over him, and he complied, after completion of the contract fellatio, the quarterback signed the contract in his semen and assured the owner, “No one else would ever believe you if you tell what happened here, now I will agree to the trade, but don’t think I’m done Fing you.”

“I felt so alone and victimized but I was afraid of what people would do if they found out I didn’t do everything in my power to bring a winner to town. I can’t believe this quarterback not only molested me but now he will be paid guaranteed money. I mean when will people realize the way power intimidates people and makes them afraid to speak out. They know they will be dragged in the mud of public opinion and their lives will be ruined. All that the powerless people can do, is try to do the right thing, with no guarantee of success or of ever having a normal life again.”

The clearly shaken owner also lamented “I suppose things could be worse, I could have changed my team’s name to something lame like the Guardians”.