Richard Domwalitz, age 75, departed his mortal coil this Tuesday after complications from covid19, May 12th was lived on by his son Jarrod, brother Stanely, and a legacy that is shrouded in mystery and suspense. Dick was known for three things, his love of fishing, his pristine 66 Plymoth Barracuda, and the fact that he has only ever had one Lay’s Potato Chip. That’s right, in 75 years Dick had only eaten one Lay’s potato chip and he was glad to let the people around him and sometimes complete strangers know it, but this story not only has an interesting history, but a dark secret.
Darrel Symanski, age 80 remembers the when and where it all started. To his recollection “It was around 60, or 61, and there he was.. Some punk 15 year old hanging out in the bar, no one questioned it, he’d dropped out or something, but on the little tv in the bar here comes this commercial. ‘Lay’s potato chips, bet you can’t eat just one…’ and this kid flips out.” As Mr Symanski recalls Dick began to shout “no buddy tells Dick Domwalitz what to do,” and stormed out of the bar. Later that night he, and two friends returned with a bag where he selected and ate one single Lay’s potato chip, and gave the rest away to the bar. “We all thought he was crazy or just acting tough but Mr Symanski said that it didn’t end there.
Donald McEvans, a close personal friend recalled being at a party in 1981 where a man handed Dick a bowl of chips, and Richard went to hunt down the bags in the trashcan to verify they were Dandee brand. His son Jarrod explained it even made things hard on the marriage with his late mother Erica, expressing it made groceries, holidays, and social events unusually hard on the two until their divorce in 1984. Yet the remarkable nature and unusual hardship of rejecting a potato chip because of an ad campaign has much more sinister aspects to it.
In the mid 80’s the lays company renewed and pushed their campaign again, and word spread fast about Dick’s resilience to their campaign and product and he was approached by several representatives of the company. They wanted Dick to appear in an ad eating the second one breaking his over twenty year protest of their product. Dick rejected their offers, and apparently at one point almost fought a representative who got in his face at his favorite bar. Yet the company’s attempts never yielded. Jarrod stated when asked that at his father’s 50th birthday party in 1995 a lays employee swapped the chips in all of the bowls with lays in an attempt to get him to eat another. Dick Noticed it instantly and guests were both a mix of suspicion to Dick’s own observation, but later horrified to find their snacks were replaced and emptied into a trashcan in the neighbors yard.
A second, and more nefarious attempt was made in 2015, when senility had begun to sink in on Dick. His son Jarrod while visiting looked into a bowl of chips placed next to his bed on the nightstand. “The top was Dandee brand, but there were Lays mixed in, it was like there was a conspiracy.” The staff at the assisted living facility claimed that a “Joe Miller” came in and placed it as a gift claiming to be a family friend and checked out. Security footage showed both him mixing the cips, but interestingly enough Dick picking out chips and throwing them on the ground by feel, seamless and effortlessly sorting them before eating them. Meaning in fact, Jarrod’s father Richard had passed living up to his lifelong challenge of only ever eating one Lay’s chip.
Our trail went cold until we were given an anonymous tip, and an email was recovered and forwarded to one of our reporters. It read as followed.
Regarding Richard “Dick” Domwalitz One Chip
It’s been 43 years, you three are still letting this happen! We need results. No one just eats one! I don’t care if you have to shove a handful of chips up his ASS or you choke him with them but get it done and get it on camera. You have until the end of the year to finish.
When Asked, Lay’s official statement was that in fact Richard Domwalitz had most likely eaten more than one Lay’s potato chip and had no knowledge of any actions taken by employees or any directives given out by staff, and rejected allegations of attempts to convince or feed Richard Domwalitz Lays chips.
Don McEvans on the other hand suspects foul play, and accused the company of transmitting the virus to Richard. He also had some incites on Jet fuel and steel beams, as well as a comment on how the earth may not be really flat.
In the spirit of his legacy we may never know what truly happened in the life of Richard Domwalitz, but we do know on multiple accounts that till his dying breath, he only ever ate one Lays Potato chip, and the one thing he would rarely admit. “It was pretty good.”
This is hilarious