Archaeologists from the Pawtucket Institute of Con Science are excitedly analyzing a skull and bone fragments unearthed by a rutabaga farmer in Rural Scotland. The find could revolutionize what we know about the progression of human evolution.

According to the farmer, “The weins wouldnae stop greetin’. He doesnae underston me. Away an raffle yersel, Scunner! Aye, Right!!
Yer bum’s oot the windae! That’s me doon the road. Hell mend ye!”

A local translator hired by the archeological crew paraphrased the farmer’s comments to mean that the area he was plowing is known to be a site for Scottlands most ancient civilizations and is believed to be a center for ancient commerce. It is also known to be haunted by faeries, Baobhan Sith, Direach, UFO sightings, and Will o’ the Wisps.

The reproduction of the head from the skull shows clear indications that this may be the point in human evolution where the humanoid trajectory split to form the Ferengi.

Professor Melton from the Institute explained it this way.

“We know that the Ferengi at some point began to develop their unpleasant personalities, penchant for dishonesty and criminal behavior and peculiar odor that made them so disliked among the homo sapiens species. This find may solidify the point where the evolutionary journey parted ways with the handsome, well spoken, and unquestionably honest and righteous humanoids.”